Frankenstein's Nipples

We were playing with the Play-Doh today, and to honor Boney's contributions to our family, we decided to give him a spot on the Walk of Fame.  Boney was true to form and pressed his face into the mud instead of his hands and feet.  I think everyone will be able to recognize his grinning face and know it's him.

After that, we decided to give him some skin to fill him out a little.  Unfortunately, he ended up looking a little like Frankenstein's monster.  The best part, though, was that my son insisted that we give him nipples to complete the look.

Tea Party

Boney and the new Halloween toys are finally getting along.  Today, he hosted the creepiest...tea...party...ever.  I just walked away slowly.

New Competition

I took my son shopping today for some Halloween decorations.  The family across the street has already decorated their yard, so my son wanted to get into the spirit too.  We managed to procure a skeletal rat, skeletal spider, skeletal bat, and two black rats.  My son was ecstatic to have some new toys to play with, but Boney was less than thrilled at the new skeletons in the house.  It was partly due to having to share time with my son, and partly due to the skeletal rat immediately sitting in his chair.

Broken

Unfortunately, my son broke his arm a few days ago, and he's been struggling a bit to get used to having his arm immobilized.  He can't get comfortable sleeping, and he's limited on activity.  So, of course, Boney stepped up to give him some solidarity, wrapping his arm in a green pipe cleaner to match my son's cast.  

Ironically enough, he also ended up losing a toe this week.  But he didn't want to make it about him and deflect the attention off my son, so he didn't even bring it up for several days.  Pretty stand-up guy.

Chilling in the Park

It was a beautiful day today, so we decided to head out to the park to enjoy the sunshine.  To his enormous happiness, I grabbed Boney on my way out the door.  He excitedly looked out the window as we drove to the park, reveling in the sights and waving at the cars next to us.  I guess the last time he was in the car, he was stuffed in a bag in the trunk, so this was definitely a step up from that.

His positive attitude was so infectious that my son and I gave him the seat of honor between us, propping him up in the cup holder.  After that, he was just chilling...literally as the air conditioner vents were blowing back his non-existent hair.

Yoga Buddy: Part 3

Boney came upstairs today while I was doing my yoga practice, and at that exact moment, I was attempting to do a complicated balancing move...which I bombed, falling flat on my face.  He decided to show off by not just gripping one leg behind him, but both at the same time.  Even though I know that it didn't hurt him, I couldn't help but wince in pain, imagining myself trying to pull off that move.

The Flying Crotch

Well, it didn't take Boney long to take the potty training to a weird place.  I walked into the room to find his whitie tighties not around his waist, but around his head!  At first, I thought he was pretending to be a pope or cardinal.  But then, I realized that he was actually trying to become more apart of the family.  He had seen a picture in my photo album earlier in the week of me doing the same thing in high school, so I guess he was paying tribute to my "flying crotch" by donning one of his own.

Support Skeleton

We are in the process of potty training our son, and Boney got into the spirit of things, donning his own pair of underwear and demonstrating how to get it done for our son.  He also served as a comfort doll when my son carried him into the bathroom with him.  I put a little bowl in there as a makeshift toilet, and Boney was plopped down on top of it, pretending to pee while my son actually peed.

I Can Do All Things Through God Who Strengthens Me

My wife has been going through some rough things the past few weeks, so I wanted to send her a motivational message to give her the strength to get through it.  Boney was more than willing to help me put it together.  To be honest, I think he has a soft spot for my wife.  Probably because she's been sneaking him cookies when she thinks I'm not looking.

"When the world has beaten you down, and you're not sure if you can get back up.  But you do know that you're not ready to give up.  You're not ready to let them win.  You're not sure where exactly you'll find the strength or if anyone is there to help you.  But you have to find a way.

"God will give you the strength, and I will be there to help you lift your arms.  You are not alone."

You spin me right round...

There is no doubt that Boney is bored today.  After his show-off display on the edge of the table, I found him hanging from the ceiling fan chain this evening.  Again, I have no idea how he got up there, but he was bouncing up and down, watching the lights go on and off.

On the one hand, I'm greatly concerned about his mental state (and my electric bill).  On the other hand, I'm glad that he finds ways to entertain himself.

Hanging Out: Part 2

...now, he's just showing off.  Seriously?!  One foot?!

Hanging Out

It was a pretty quiet day today.  I went to visit with a friend all afternoon, so Boney was just hanging around the house.

Lift

I rounded the corner this afternoon to find Boney holding himself up on the edge of the table.  I stopped in amazement.  First, because I have no idea how he even managed to climb up there.  And second, because I have no idea how he had the strength and endurance to hold himself up like that.  It was mesmerizing.

At first, I thought he was just mountain climbing or doing some pull-up, triceps work.  And then I saw the familiar blue package sitting on the table.  That no good skeleton was after my Oreos again!  I guess chocolate cookies are enough motivation for a creative thief to overcome impossible odds to pull off the big score.  I'm going to have to start sleeping with the package, I guess.

Stair Master

Well, due to a broken water main at my son's school, we had to keep him home today.  My wife took him for the morning, and I took over in the afternoon.  He usually goes down for a nap after lunch, and when I went to wake him up, I asked Boney if he wanted to tag along.  He eagerly jumped at the chance to explore the upstairs a little.  The stairs posed a little bit of a challenge, as he had to really drag himself up each step along the way.  He was pretty exhausted when we finally got to the top, so I carried him into my son's room.

I set him down on the steps into my son's bed, and he pulled himself over the railing into the bed and gently rubbed my son's back and hair, whispering him softly awake.  My son was a little surprised to find Boney's smiling face staring back at him when he opened his eyes.  He probably thought he was still lost in his dreams.

Boney was not up for climbing back down the stairs, so I begrudgingly acquiesced to his request to slide down the bannister.  It was going okay until he got to the bottom and the post topper slammed in between his legs.  He might no longer have his former anatomical parts, but the wince of pain he emitted showed that limbs are not the only thing that can still bring phantom feeling.

Sulking

I finally located Boney's secret Oreo stash and stole back my cookies.  I guess he didn't think I'd ever think to look in the bottom of the dirty clothes basket.  Process of elimination...I'd already looked everywhere else.  Boney has been mad at me all day, and he's been sitting on the edge of the table sulking.  I tried to give him a single Oreo cookie (minus the cream, which I had licked out first), but he refused my peace offering.

Summer Olympics

There really is nothing this skeleton can't do.  I guess with all of the free time on his hands, Boney has decided to try out for the next Summer Olympics.  His sport of choice is gymnastics, and he was flaunting his flexibility with some painful looking moves.  The only thing he's lacking is the musculature to really take him to the next level of competition.

Flashdance

And just when I didn't think Boney could abuse the chair I'd gotten him anymore than he already had, I came down to this today.  Either he was mesmerized by something on the light over the table, or he was reenacting that iconic scene from Flashdance.

Excuse me...but I think you've got my chair...

I figured out today that I could use the stand for our iPad as a makeshift chair for Boney.  The little lip on the bottom is perfect for holding his thin little legs, and there's a cutout that perfectly fits his protruding pelvis too.  I can adjust the angle to have it upright or shift to a more reclined position.  Now, Boney can be more comfortable as he sits and longingly watches us eat our food in front of him.

Of course, you can't always depend on a skeleton to use the chair correctly.  Sometimes, I feel like he's more like a child than a full-grown bag of bones.

Corn Cob

We got my son some corn on the cob tonight for dinner, because it's usually one of his favorite foods.  He was pulling one of his usual toddler stubborn things and refusing to eat.  At one point, he even turned completely around in the chair to look out the window and ignore my goading to "have another bite."  And that's when Boney struck!  

Quick as lightning, he darted over to the unguarded plate and sank his large white teeth into the succulent yellow kernels, ripping a few off with the bite and chewing on them rapidly.  By the time my son had figured out what was going on, Boney had already cleared an entire row of corn.  My son backhanded him off the table, and Boney tumbled to the floor in a heap.  When I ran to check on him, I found him lying there with a big grin plastered on his face.  Sticks and stone may break my bones, but I still stole a whole row of your corn first!

Epic Backfire

Well, my plan to feed Boney to the Mosasaurus backfired.  I'm not sure how that charming little skeleton managed it, but somehow he made friends with the swimming dinosaur.  I found the two of them palling around today, Boney riding on the Mosasaurus' back.  I might have been mad, but it was a pretty epic thing to do.  I gotta give Boney kudos for pulling off something so awesome.

Sweet Thief

I've had a strange addiction for sweet tea lately.  At first, it started out as a treat every once in a while, but now I'm craving it every day.  I have been trying unsuccessfully to wean myself off of it, but I caved today and went to Sonic's Happy Hour to get one.  I took a couple of swigs and then set the full cup down on the table to go move a load of laundry.  When I came back, Boney was sucking the last few drops out of the cup.  He had drunken the entire thing!  The cup was bone dry.  I swear!  You leave your sweet tea alone for five seconds, and a mischievous skeleton is going to drink it!

First the Oreos, and now the sweet tea.  Boney has crossed a line.  I'd finally had enough of his selfish antics, so I fed him to the Mosasaurus.  I'm not sure the Mosasaurus will get much of a meal off of him, but maybe he can use him as a toothpick or something.

Push Plank

I have no idea what Boney was trying to do today, but while I was eating lunch, he just unexpectedly flipped over on the table and started pushing up on his unsteady little arms.  He got his chest barely off the table and then just stopped.  He stayed in that half pushed-up, half lying on the table position for several minutes before he collapsed back down again.  I couldn't tell if it was a successful plank or an unsuccessful push-up.  I guess it could have been some weird hybrid, like a push plank or something.  Either way, he only attempted the one, and then he sat up again and went back to watching TV with me.

Ice Cold Autopsy

Boney never revealed the location of the Oreos, but there's only so many places he could have hidden them.  They will be found!  Unfortunately for me, and fortunately for Boney, my son rescued him from the wall of torture.  He got to spend a semi-comfortable night undisturbed on the table.  I found him this morning sleeping under a paper towel that he'd found.  I guess he'd gotten cold in the night and grabbed the first thing he'd found as a makeshift blanket.  With no body fat to keep him warm, I guess it makes sense.

My father pointed out that he thought Boney was on the table for an autopsy.  I guess that could work too.  He had a "sheet" covering all the important bits, and he was lying still enough to appear dead.  I'm not sure they'd be able to tell much from just his skeleton; except that he was a male between the ages of 30 and 35, had been in good health, had played a relatively violent sport like football or rugby in which he had sustained several broken bones in his fingers and feet, didn't smoke or drink coffee, had a weakness for cookies and brownies, and had ridden horses on a frequent basis at some point in his life.  Besides that, there's really nothing to glean from such a sparse collection of evidence.

Cookie Torture

Boney made a grave error.  While we were sleeping last night, he apparently snuck into the pantry and stole my bag of Oreo cookies!  When I questioned him about it, he refused to say anything, so I had no choice but to torture him for the information.  He has been hanging upside down from the light switch all day, but he still won't give up the hidden location of the cookies.  He may be tough, but I'm very patient, and with cookies on the line, I'm willing to wait as long as it takes.

Bird Watching

My wife put food in the hummingbird feeder yesterday, and this morning we had a hummingbird stop by for breakfast!  I had seen the bird checking the feeder out a few days ago, but I didn't expect him to find the food so quickly.  A few minutes later, a female hummingbird flew up to drink as well.  Then, all morning long, the two of them took turns hitting the feeder and then sitting in our tree.  Several times throughout the day, I came downstairs to find Boney sitting casually on the table and watching the birds out the window.  He seems like a very deep skeleton.